The Savage Sacktap – Shit Eating Grin

Aaaaand we’re back with a fresh Sacktap. There’s plenty to talk about this week including:

Walking Street Pattaya Girl

-The story of man who got blown by 5 Fillipino hookers, while their friend stole his debit card.

– Pondering the proper response to the weirdo in the locker room eating a banana and giggling 2 feet away from my bare ass.

Listen Here: The Savage Sacktap – Shit Eating Grin

– A boy was murdered when he found out that his dad likes to wear diapers, put on women’s makeup, and eat his own shit…yes you read that correctly.


– Taking aim at the bullshit that is ‘National Intern Day’

– And bidding a fond farewell to our man, The Mooch

All that and more in this episode of The Savage Sacktap

This Story About 6 Chicks Blowing Up ‘Homeboys’ Spot For Date Stacking Is Absolutely Preposterous — Here’s Why

Did you hear the one about the guy who set up dates with six women at the same place, on the same night, and then got caught by said broads before his plan could come to fruition?

On Monday night, according to an epic, now-viral Twitter thread, Pylant went on a date set up for her by friends. She met up with the guy at a bar that her friends work at, and even though she was warned by her bartender friend before she got there that her date “sucked,” she showed up anyway. reports Huffington Post

What ended up happening was an inspiring story for women who’ve wasted their time on a shitty date when they could have had a night out with people they actually like.

Yeah, an ‘inspiring story for women’ let me tell you something about women and inspiration, these feebleminded simpletons can be ‘inspired’ by anything. Case in point, this fuckery that my girlfriend’s roommate has painted on their living room wall.

But here’s the rub, everyone and their mother is just accepting this coven of 6’s story as fact…I think it deserves a deeper look.


From Left to Right (Maybe, No, Sure, Sure)

First of all, it’d be a stretch to call any of these chicken heads attractive, but there’s definitely a disparity among the group. From left to right we have one that is barely passable even in a dimly lit bar, bachelorette #2 looks like the result of a condomless night of passion between Mike Tirico and a brillo pad, the blonde just passes muster, and the proud black woman on the far right gets a slight boost simply because she adds a bit of ethnic flavor to the mix. Somehow they all agreed to go out for drinks with a guy who Brillo Pad has preemptively accused of ‘sucking’ — which just speaks volumes about the general psyche of millennial women, but I digress.

A plausible scenario thus far. Double booking dates is pretty standard practice these days what with flaking, texting, ghosting, swiping, and whatever the hell else it is that single people get into on their phones.

Sure I can buy, he fucked up and double booked chicks a bit too close to each other, and now his cover is blown. But holes are starting to develop. Did he exit for a ‘moment’ to hit the john or did he leave you two alone to have an intimate 30 minute convo? It’s one or the other not both — or was this guy so aloof that he allowed you to plot his downfall right in front of his face? Something here just isn’t adding up.

It seems at this point that the game is up. The three dates are there, and he’s apparently getting worked by a couple ugly chicks AND the bar staff…including bouncers? Who the fucks watching the door? And he’s just standing there like a chump as the whole thing unfolds? I smell a rat. This alleged dude clearly has very average taste in women, but still even when hitting on duffers, setting up 6 dates in one night requires at least a bit of savvy…no way he just sits there and allows the whole thing to play out like this.

Again, even if this somewhat preposterous story had been cut off at this point, I might be able to buy it, but it’s moving forward that these wenches really give the game away.

So, I don’t get it. He has more dates lined up for the night (we’ve only gotten through like 3 chicks so far) but decides to monopolize his time chasing one of the dates that just spent the night shitting all over him for double booking? Big stretch, dude has no reason to beg, he clearly has no problem meeting and convincing women to go out with him. I’m calling it here, FAKE TEXT, FAKE STORY, FAKE NEWS…but I wanna prove this well beyond a reasonable doubt, so we’ll keep playing.

‘Homeboy’ apparently has another date lined up for the same bar, and decides — despite the fact that the bartenders and bar staff helped blow up his spot with the previous dates — that the best course of action is to continue with his plan at the same bar…not a fucking chance.

You know those ‘Movies That Would Have Been Over In 15 Minutes If Someone Had A Cell Phone‘ things? This is precisely one of those scenarios.

All that ‘homeboy’ had to do to avoid further cucking by Brillo Pad is send a text to the next chick saying, “Hey, got tied up at work, mind meeting somewhere closer to my office? How bout XYZ Bar And Grille” and she would have been like “Oh yeah, sure, sounds good” and his problem would have been solved. But for some inexplicable reason, he decides to remain in enemy territory…curious indeed.

So your friends can tell based on sight alone who a woman is going to meet for a date? Or are they standing outside the bar intercepting other chicks as they walk in and asking them who they are there to meet? Because that’s way fuckin weirder than some dude trying to score with a bunch of chicks in one night…like waaaayyyyyyy fuckin weirder. At this point I don’t believe a word of what these best-life betches are saying.

So after you’ve intercepted one girl, he has again remained at the same bar to meet another girl? Again, at this point any rational man would have simply changed the location of subsequent dates…this story has more holes than Sonny Corleone at a toll booth.

August means preseason, sometimes you get cut without getting any practice reps, just the way the game goes really…except this isn’t the NFL, this is a dude who has already shelled out a few bucks, and spent precious hours trying to get laid…no way he cuts off a potential bang before at least letting throw a few passes against the second team defense.

So a project manager with the interpersonal skills to land 6 dates in one night doesn’t have the foresight to see that lining up so many dates in such a limited amount of time could easily end in disaster? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, something here does not add up.


A couple of important pieces of evidence I want to point to here, “Lisette is about to be Twitter famous”…this absolutely smacks of a planned ‘viral moment’ (per her twitter profile Lisette works in social media), and she’s shouting out the name of the bar? Obvious publicity stunt is obvious.

Really, and then he did it again? After being fucked with and rejected by five different chicks working in league with bartenders, and bouncers this guy said, “yeah, let me throw caution to the wind, sixth times a charm right?” Not a fucking chance toots…also, who goes on a date with their mother and aunt in tow? Who’s mother and aunt are out drinking on a weeknight? Who? Who?

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I submit to you that Lisette — a social media manager — colluded with friends, and bar workers at Anxocider to concoct a story that would at the same time boost her career and increase foot traffic to the bar. They scripted a fanciful, ludicrous tale and provided scant details about the alleged ‘homeboy’ all while failing to account for massive holes in their story. She begins with a ‘thread alert’ posted at just after 4 p.m. and concludes the tale with a final tweet after 8 p.m. Throughout the story she switches regularly between past and present tense, while having the time to engage in text conversations, drink, consort with bartenders and strangers, and provide a detailed account of this apparent ‘date stacking fail’ with near flawless grammar inside of a four hour window. Our accuser has been so bold as to assign to ‘homeboy’ the job title of project manager, and the ability to score six dates in one night, but denies him the intelligence to spread the dates throughout the evening, or the mental dexterity to relocate or reschedule once it was clear the game was up? Is he a project manager or is he an idiot? Which is it? The betting man says neither. The betting man says this reeks of a content creating conspiracy committed by Lisette and her friends. I will refer you once more to the picture of said strumpets posted earlier in the blog.


Lisette is the least attractive in the group, and yet she claims to be the apple of ‘homeboy’s’ eye.

Hubris, it seems, is Lisette’s downfall. Having already ascribed to ‘homeboy’ the traits of a calculating, rational man of industry, she then claims that she is ‘the only one he wants to get to know’…preposterous! The man described by these wenches never would have went so far as to grovel with a buck toothed brillo pad after being humiliated in a bar by a group of trolls and service industry professionals. He would have walked out the door, found another bar and changed plans with his subsequent dates, thus salvaging his evening at the onset of this bullshit. This story is made up, Lisette is a liar, and her friends are her accomplices. They embarked on a halfcocked grab at internet fame, and have been found out! I rest my case.


Google Engineer Fired For Expressing Unpopular Opinion, Internet Responds With Virtue Signaling

SAN FRANCISCO/NEW YORK (Reuters) – The male Google engineer fired for circulating a memo decrying the company’s diversity hiring program became the center of a heated debate on sexism, drawing scorn, cheers and even a job offer on Tuesday from WikiLeaks publisher Julian Assange.

James Damore, 28, confirmed his dismissal from Alphabet Inc’s Google on Monday, after he wrote a 10-page memo that said the company was hostile to conservative viewpoints and shaped by a flawed left-wing ideology. Click for full article

This guy James Damore is fucking legend. For those who don’t follow this kind of thing Google has been pursuing an agenda aimed at eliminating any kind of diversity of opinion whatsoever. They’re changing the way their site functions to suppress news from sources that leftists find undesirable, and they’re banning and blocking subversive content from sites like YouTube to silence opinions that the left doesn’t agree with – I think Jordan Peterson just got his page back.

So Damore wrote what is being derisively referred to as a ‘manifesto’ about the climate at Google — with particular focus on diversity in hiring, and diversity of opinion. (You can read the whole thing here: Google’s Ideological Echo Chamber)

To give you the TL:DR version of Damore’s ‘manifesto’ — btw if I were him, I’d own the fuck out of the term manifesto, you know who writes a manifesto? A motherfucker who means business, that’s who. Anyway, the executive summary of his manifesto is this: creating an environment in which opinions are silenced to protect the psychological safety of some employees actually creates a psychologically unsafe environment. In doing so, Google has created an ‘ideological echo chamber’ where some ideas can’t be discussed honestly. By stifling the open exchange of ideas, the company has inadvertently created an ‘authoritarian’ environment in which certain groups (in this case white males, and anyone with conservation social or political views) are oppressed to make up for the perceived societal oppression of other groups (in this case women and ethnic minorities). He addresses the gender gap in STEM fields as well, explaining that differences in gender traits may explain why women are underrepresented in tech and leadership roles. Damore concludes by opining that discriminating against one group to achieve equality of outcome for other groups is ‘unfair, divisive, and bad for business.’

He did all of this without an ounce of vitriol. His delivery was as academic as anything I have ever read, and yet he has become another victim of our current culture war. The response from leftists (the distinction between leftists and liberals is important — leftists want you to shutup and submit completely, liberals want to push their agenda, but will debate you like a rational human being) anyway, the response from leftists to even the slightest peep out of the straight, white, male and conservative communities has been to target and completely destroy the individual who had the audacity to express an opinion that they have deemed unacceptable. This is what Damore was pushing back against, not women in STEM occupations or leadership positions. He literally mentions it in his manifesto, I’ll go over some of the differences in distribution of traits between men and women that I outlined in the previous section and suggest ways to address them to increase women’s representation in tech without resorting to discrimination.”

Holy buttfuck Mr. Rogers, do those sound like the words of a misogynist animal who wants to see women sent back to the kitchen? No, of course not, but by cherry-picking bits and pieces of his manifesto and pairing them with over the top headlines about sexism or ‘anti-diversity’, it’s not hard for anyone with an agenda to spin this as they wish:

The ugly, pseudoscientific history behind that sexist Google manifesto

Of Course James Damore Is Now a Free Speech Martyr

The Rant of an Irate Google Engineer Is Not the Issue

Google makes strong statement by firing engineer behind anti-diversity memo

You do not have a constitutional right to be extremely sexist at work

Google CEO: Anti-diversity memo was ‘offensive and not OK’

And of course let’s not forget all of the virtue signaling on Twitter.

It takes a lot of balls to fire a guy after for voicing his opinion, after he writes a memo pointing out that your company doesn’t value diversity of opinion.

If that’s the way they want to do it then fine, go ahead, but remember this kind of thing has happened before. During the 2016 election, expressing support for Donald Trump (full disclosure, I voted for Gary Johnson) became a scarlet letter. Wearing a MAGA hat was a way to let others know you were a racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobe; or so said some on the left who were ready to throw a molotov cocktail in your direction lest you try to give a speech on a college campus — or at the very least toss a bit of smug liberal snark your way in the form of a tweet — and suffice it to say, the strategy backfired…bigly. So go ahead coastal elites do you, fuck with the ‘deplorables’, and attempt to silence them once more, but don’t be surprised when they make their voices heard where it counts…the voting booth.

The Savage Sacktap – Shark Week

I needed someone to talk at for this episode, so Kim begrudgingly got on the other microphone.

Join us for a 2 part Savage Sacktap Shark Week special. This one’s all about sharks, specifically the series of deadly great white attacks that shocked the Jersey Shore in the summer of 1916…oh yeah, and we snuck a bunch of dick jokes in too.

Download now to go back in time, and celebrate Shark Week, with The Savage Crew.

LISTEN – The Savage Sacktap: Shark Week Part 1

LISTEN – The Savage Sacktap: Shark Week Part 2

Social Media

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Twitter: @MikeMontone

The Savage Sacktap – Toxic Masculinity


Buongiorno ya fucks!

I’m fresh offa di plane from Italy, with a fresca episode of The Savage Sacktap…I call this one ‘Toxic Masculinity.’

Download now to hear me:

LISTEN: The Savage Sacktap – Toxic Masculinity

-Discuss the differences between Europe and the U.S.

-Explain my new favorite way to cleanse my anus.

-Breakdown my failed attempt to have sex with a bus full of retards.

-Overcome my anxiety about flying with an Arab in the cockpit.

-Propose a new ‘sexual harassment-friendly’ airline.

-Blast liberal nut jobs for accusing men of toxic masculinity.

-And much, much more.

Social Media

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Twitter: @MikeMontone

OJ Simpson Finds Out The Hard Way That Jerking Off In Jail Is A Big No-No


OJ Simpson could be denied parole after he was caught pleasuring himself in his cell –  strictly verboten in federal prisons in the U.S. – a prison source has told

‘OJ is facing a disciplinary hearing after being written up for masturbating in his prison cell,’ said the source. ‘He was caught by a female corrections officer making her normal rounds in late June.’ Full Article

If I’m the Juice then I gotta go with the ol’ ignorance plea on this one. Who the fuck knew you weren’t allowed to masturbate in the privacy of your own prison cell. I was always under the impression that your cell was sort of like a hotel room; do whatever weird shit you want within the confines of the box, just keep it out of the common areas. If a guard happens upon you mid-stroke, they just turn their heads and walk the other way, like when you catch your dog tonguing away at his own nutsack — see no evil, stroke no evil, and such.

I know there isn’t a lot of love out there for the Juice, but as a proud masturbator and patriot this one just cuts deeper. Beyond it just being a politeness issue, it seems like an absolute violation of the 8th amendment’s protection against cruel and unusual punishment.

8th amendment

Frankly, I’d like to see a little bit more activism surrounding this shocking abuse of Mr. Simpson’s civil liberties. Whenever some guy who killed two people while robbing a liquor store is about to get lethal injection, the demonstrators can’t get to the prison soon enough. Well where the fuck are the protests for OJ? Look at Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs – sex is right there with eating and breathing. If Juice was being deprived of air or food, you can be damn sure there would be a mob of people outside holding a hunger strike or a die-in.


I for one, plan to masturbate multiple times a day until this horrible wrong is righted. If that means pummeling my cock around the clock for a decade, I’ll do it – solidarity is important. But I’m just one man, I only have one dick, and one ball sack which only holds so much sperm, and that’s why I’m calling on the ACLU to organize a rally in support of an inmate’s right to self-stimulate.  I want to see dicket lines of proud masturbators outside of every prison in the country, ookie cookie circles and stroke-ins across the street from every jail. No Jerk Off, No Peace! No Jerk Off, No Peace! We the people, will not rest until we may whack our peckers without fear of persecution.

The Savage Sacktap – Liberal Cannibalism And PC Silliness

Sup sluts; we’ve got an all new episode of the Savage Sacktap for your listening misery.


LISTEN HERE: The Savage Sacktap – Liberal Cannibalism And PC Silliness

In this episode you can hear Mike:

– Recap his Memorial Day Weekend, and pontificate on the finer points of getting laid at the Jersey Shore.

-Question the shit out of the most questionable birthday gift he’s ever received.

-Help a sushi chef get penis enlargement surgery.

-Defend Tiger Woods as a pill, bottle, and pussy popping emissary for the game of golf.

-Breakdown the controversy surrounding Bill Maher, Kathy Griffin, and that wonderful thing we call free speech.

-Address listener concerns regarding the behavior of naked men in the gym locker room.


Twitter: @MikeMontone

Facebook: The Savage Crew

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