Monthly Archives: March 2017

If Your Wife Goes Out To Dinner With Another Dude, He’s Going To Try To Fuck Her

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Romantic couple having dinner

He’s not here for a ‘business dinner’ he’s here to throw some horse radish on your wife’s oyster..

From the article (https://tinyurl.com/kyoag44) 

People on Twitter are currently arguing whether it’s OK for men and women who are not spouses or family to grab a bite together every once in a while — and it’s all because of a comment Vice President Mike Pence made in 2002.
On Wednesday, The Washington Post published a profile on second lady Karen Pence. The story, which was mostly focused on her background, also contained an interesting tidbit: Once upon a time, the current veep said he wouldn’t go out to eat with a woman who is not his wife.
But what really sparked a fire online was a question posed by conservative blogger Matt Walsh.
Annnnnnd here’s the tweet that sparked today’s internet firestorm:

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And all the feminuts were like blah, blah, blah what if it’s a business dinner, blah, blah, blah. Here’s the thing broads; if a man has dinner alone with a woman, at some point during the meal he’s thinking about bending her over the table and fucking her. Either that or he’s gay. This has nothing to do with equality, nothing to do with feminism, it has everything to do with you sitting at home knowing that your wife is out to dinner with Carl from marketing, and at some point during the meal…scratch that…at most points during the meal Carl will be wondering how to get himself a little raw bar to go so to speak.

You can claim that it’s not true, but you’re only lying to yourself. For fucks sake do you idiots watch The Office? This is precisely the kind of snake shit Jim pulled to take Pam away from Roy. She sees him 40 hrs a week looking dapper in a suit and tie, he sees her strutting around the office in a pair of heels, bending over to grab something from the copier, they share an inside joke or two, then they decide to grab dinner to ‘discuss the Johnson account.’ If you’re a grown up you drink at dinner – those are the rules – next thing you know they’re both a little tipsy, Carl’s Viagra starts kicking in, and he’s slipping his TPS report into your wife’s inbox in the back seat of his 3-series while you play Call of Duty and rub one out to Desperate Amateurs.

Congrats boyo you’ve just been cucked…hard!

But it’s cool because the guy who sent the tweet is a conservative, straight, white, male, and he’s not allowed to have an opinion on ANYTHING that involves women because equality or something…

The Savage Sacktap – Forward March

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LISTEN – The Savage Sacktap – Forward March

Well, Zeke grabbed a teat, I guess he was in the mood for a St. Patrick’s Day treat. The media went ballistic about another winter storm that wasn’t — so this time around I’m examining the pros and cons of loading up on bread, milk, and eggs, during a storm, and explaining to the average man how a trip outside to shovel the snow can lead to your wife getting banged by a pair of high school linebackers!

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Then I’m breaking down the controversy surrounding Marines United, and their online amateur porn ring, and Jackie stopped by to drink and bitch about feminism.

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And a reminder, this episode of the Savage Sacktap was brought to you by Cosby Cups!

Cosby Cups Jello

Drunk Dude Humps Statue To Make Buddies Laugh, Feminist Loses Her Mind

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(From the Article) A pervy Wall Street brah was photographed humping the new statue of a little girl, meant to signify women’s empowerment in the financial sector.

The troubling scene was captured Thursday night by Alexis Kaloyanides, a 34-year-old architectural designer from Queens, who was visiting the piece of public art called “Fearless Girl” – directly across the way from the iconic Charging Bull statue in Lower Manhattan.

“It was a beautiful night … there were about 15 or 20 people there,” Kaloyanides told “Inside Edition.”

“There were people there talking about empowering children and women and for them to have this 20-something showing his entitlement, defiling the statute.”

Humping a statue because you’re drunk and you think it will make your buddies laugh, makes perfect sense to me. What I don’t get is; who the fuck spends their Saturday night hanging out in the Financial District having a discussion about empowering women and children? Get a life nerds.

I can just imagine the kind of snooty Brooklyn douche bags who were offended by this too — they’re the assholes who cried actual tears after Orange Donald won the election, and said things like ‘voting for Donald Trump is an act of violence against women’ and blah, blah, blah SHUT UP!

Seriously, did a drunk finance bro jokingly humping a bunch of statues after happy hour, really warrant a call to the New York fucking Post? I thought you guys were supposed to be fearless…isn’t that the name of the statue? The ‘Fearless Girl.’ Wouldn’t fearlessness entail the ability to be able to see a drunk dude hump a statue of a complete stranger without getting your panties all twisted?

And while we’re on the subject. The word fearless has got to go. It’s up there with fierce, and bad ass, and everything else that’s meant to ’empower’ women, but just comes off sounding patronizing and overreaching.

Let me tell you jabronis something. If you are living in America in the year 2017, and were able to take off of work for this absurd #DayWithoutAWoman, then you’re already empowered. If you aren’t subject to honor killings, clitoral circumcision, or made to wear a hijab and leave the house only in the company of a male escort, then you are already empowered. Christ fuck, the originator of this complaint was an architectural designer from Queens. You have a good job in the most important city on the planet, you have achieved full empowerment, it’s no longer our fault if your social or professional trajectory begins to stall.

This broad must be a fuckin peach to have around the workplace. Probably the type who constantly complains that the air conditioning is sexist, refers to history as ‘HER-story’ and annoys the shit out of everyone, so she keeps missing out on promotions and never gets invited out to get beers after work. I got news for ya toots, you’re not stuck in a boys club, you’re just an insufferable cunt who annoys everyone with constant social justice bellyaching.

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Female empowerment done right!

Empowerment? That’s your answer? That’s your answer to everything. Tattoo it on your forehead! Your revolution is over Ms. Kaloyanides! Condolonces! The feminazis lost! My advice to you is to do what your mother did! Eat a dick, ma’m. The feminazis will always lose, do you hear me? The feminazis will always lose!

The Savage Sacktap – Let’s Get Nuts

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Mt Gushmore

Ron Jeremy made it, find out who will join The Hedgehog on the Mt. Rushmore of male porn stars — Mt. Gushmore!

LISTEN – The Savage Sacktap – Let’s Get Nuts

Guttentag and welcome to a fresh episode of The Savage Sacktap.

If you hate social justice warriors, or just want to blow off some steam after reading through post after post of political pouting on your newsfeed then this is the episode for you.

This time around I’m expressing my grief over fart covered edamame, ripping apart the feminist outrage over made up things like ‘period shaming’, helping poor African men pay for penis enlargement surgery, breaking down the controversy surrounding fabulous British fag Milo Yiannopoulos, and why Lena Dunham’s mother couldn’t have done humanity a favor by having an abortion.

After that I’ll take a few voicemails and name the four best male porn stars of all time – solidifying their place in history atop Mt. Gushmore.

It’s An Absolute Travesty That This Woman Is Considered A ‘Criminal’ For Banging The High School Football Team

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A California woman was arrested after she was accused of engaging in sexual activity with three members of the Mount Shasta High School football team, Siskiyou County prosecutors and police said.

Mary Fletcher, 42, who goes by the name Debbie, allegedly seduced and bedded the teenage kids after meeting the team while working alongside their photographer.

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I’ve always been completely confused as to how this is a crime. There are entire genre’s of adult videos that cater specifically to the idea of a MILFy blonde chick getting railed out by by some kid in a varsity jacket, but all of a sudden when it happens in real life it’s illegal?

Does anyone realize the huge public service this woman has done? Hear me out — most dudes go to college and they’ve had a girlfriend or two from home who’s just as inexperienced as they are. They carry that skill level to college and it takes a few years to turn into a Grade A adult dick slinger.

But consider the alternative; you go a few rounds with a slutty cougar as a teen and you learn a thing or two, next thing you know you’re checking into the dorm at State U and developing a reputation as the best cervix muddler in town. The girls are happy, the guys are happy, the jizz drenched older woman is happy, it’s a win-win-win. Why burden the taxpayers and the court system to punish someone for performing a good deed?

This is why I need to run for office. This woman shouldn’t be given jail time, she should be given the key to the city…or at the very least the key to my hotel room.

ESPN May Replace Chris Berman With Samantha Ponder…No Thanks

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While Ponder (who’s married to NFL quarterback Christian Ponder) is described as a “strong candidate,” nothing has been finalized, sources said. If Ponder does land the lead chair on “Sunday NFL Countdown,” she won’t take over Berman’s other duties such as hosting Day One of NFL Draft coverage, according to sources.

Ponder serves as a contributor to ESPN’s Emmy-winning “College Gameday” and as a sideline reporter for college football/basketball coverage. She also works with Kirk Herbstreit and Chris Fowler for ABC’s “Saturday Night Football” coverage. The Phoenix native previously served as a host/reporter for Fox Sports. More

Go ahead and call me a sexist, but I’m not watching a fucking NFL pregame show hosted by a chick. Give me former NFL players, and fat guys who got cut from the JV team back in 86 and have spent the past few decades burying the disappointed look on their father’s faces with beer, wings, and a passion for breaking down the intricacies of the Cover 2, or just give me Jon Gruden talking to a chalkboard by himself for a couple hours, but DO NOT under any circumstances give me a chick getting production notes fed into her headset for three hours on Sunday mornings.

It’s bad enough that I had to sit through 9 innings of Jessica Mendoza every time the Mets played on Sunday nights last year, but this is a step too far.

There are certain things that should never happen; a Jew becoming Pope, a snowstorm in Saudi Arabia, and a chick being shoe-horned into a host spot on an NFL pregame show, all fall into that category.

Mark my words, if this happens it will be one of the final straws to break the camel’s back over at ESPN — every fan with a pair of testes will be tuning in to NFL Network, CBS, and FOX from August through February.

I know it might sound weird that I think it would be a terrible idea to replace a fat man with a hot blonde. Weird indeed, but context matters — there is as they say ‘a time and a place for everything’ and if I see an attractive blonde woman surrounded by a group of athletic gentlemen of color it better be over on dogfart.com not live on ESPN.

I’m not saying they need to get back in the kitchen, but chicks sure as hell don’t belong on the pregame show every Sunday.

Wait A Minute, I Thought All Male Disney Characters Were Already Gay…

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I hate to break it to you guys, but Beauty And The Beast was already pretty fucking gay…

From the Time article

Spoiler alert: the upcoming live-action Beauty and the Beast will feature Disney’s first-ever openly gay character.

Director Bill Condon told Attitude that the character LeFou, played by Josh Gad, will get an important subplot in the film that touches on sexuality and involves villain Gaston.

“LeFou is somebody who on one day wants to be Gaston and on another day wants to kiss Gaston,” Condon said. “Josh makes something really subtle and delicious out of it. And that’s what has its payoff at the end, which I don’t want to give away. But it is a nice, exclusively gay moment in a Disney movie.”

It’s a movie about a grown man who lives alone in a lavishly decorated mansion, joined only by a candelabra and a cabal of tea cups that spontaneously break out into song…am I wrong for assuming the entire cast was always gay?

I don’t want to come off as homophobic, I’m just saying there aren’t a lot of straight men who own palatial homes that feature ballroom dance floors. For fucks sake, the beast was keeping an old man chained up in his built-in S&M dungeon -– tell me this hairy bastard isn’t 50 shades of gay, you can’t!

And let’s not forget Gaston. His outfit says Castro District Pride Parade, and his beefy pecs covered in brillowy chest hair just scream ‘I’m a big burly bear in search of a tight hole, let’s polish off these mojitos and head back to my place for some Greco Roman wrestling.’

But it’s not just Beauty and The Beast, I gotta assume that every leading man in Disney’s filmography is playing for the other team.

I mean really is it that much of a stretch to believe that Aladdin went through a dry spell and spent a night of passion with Abu, contracted AIDS, and then spread it throughout the rest of the Middle East a week later on Man Love Friday? The vest and the fez alone are enough to convince me beyond a reasonable doubt that this guy is a ‘Grade A’ snake charmer.

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“Look Al, I’m not really sure how to tell you this, so I’m just gonna say it; you should get tested, like ASAP!”

And Eric from The Little Mermaid? All of the creatures in the sea rise up and sing him a song so he’ll finally have the balls to make a move Ariel and this cuck still decides to wait until marriage? Guys rich enough to hold a lavish wedding on a ship and he wasn’t going around hammering pussy left and right? Something here just doesn’t add up, and I have a sneaking suspicion that he might be more interested in Ahab’s harpoon than Ariel’s pearl, but that’s just me.

We could go on and on and on with this shit people. How bout the prince from Cinderella? Dude throws a banger that every chick in the kingdom intends for the sole purpose of riding his royal dick and he decides to go chase down some prude who won’t give it up, because he likes her taste in shoes…surprised the magic slipper wasn’t a magic loafer left behind by a cock craving Cinder-Fella.