The Savage Sacktap – Beef And Beer Will Make Us Buff

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Sean stops by to discuss plans for a new fight club style training club. Just a group of guys getting together a couple times a month to move heavy shit around before burning and feasting upon massive slabs of animal flesh and washing it all down with giant glasses of beer…we may eat a vegetable or two as well.

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As is often the case Mike derails the conversation with talk of Philippino hookers, and complaints about everyone he hates at the gym.

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For reals though this training group should be getting going in the next couple of months. If you want a way to stay lean and strong while still sippin sodas all summer long, follow the social media links below for updates.

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Twitter: @MikeMontone

Hey Hey Hey Smoke Weed Every Day

 

Ya’ll bitches know what day it is! 420 baby…well it’s always 420 around here, but that’s neither here nor there. There is mucho to discusso. I woke up this morning to find that women have been sexually harassed at Coachella. Shocking news really, I for one can’t fathom the idea of a person at a music festival crossing the line in terms of sexual behavior. Who would ever have thought that in an environment packed with people, using mind altering drugs, drinking, listening to hours and hours of loud music, out in the sunshine, while the nation’s most beautiful and scantily clad traipse about, that there might be a problem with sexual misconduct. It’s beyond comprehension.

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Also beyond comprehension is why anyone would find it acceptable to ask Michelle Pfeiffer about her weight. Everyone knows it’s unacceptable to ask a woman about her weight. But if women are supposed to be equal now, and we can ask men about their weight, doesn’t that mean we should be able to ask women about their weight? Confusing as fuck.

And of course I’ll lay out my thoughts on legal marijuana. I know it’s coming, you know it’s coming, so why the fuck is it taking so long?

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Podcast: The Savage Sacktap

Political Sex Scandal Pot Pourri – Deviance Through The Decades

Don’t get buttfucked by a horse, that’s the big takeaway from this one. I’ll explain why equine sodomy is a sucker’s bet and how you can avoid having your colon ripped apart by Secretariat. Then it’s time to take a look at political perversion through the decades. From Jefferson to Clinton and beyond, American political figures have always been tremendous perverts. After having fun at our lusty lawmakers’ expense Mike asks the question that everyone has been afraid to — why the hell did the gays fight so hard to get married? They had it made in the shade. No kids, no divorce, no alimony, no nothing. Just anal, good buddies, and brunch. Silly.

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Podcast: The Savage Sacktap

So Anyway, Barbara Bush Is Dead…

Barbara Bush died last night. I didn’t give it much thought at first, just poured a little notional Smirnoff Ice out for her, but now that I think of it, it’s like a piece of my childhood is dying too. George Bush is the first president I can consciously remember, errgo Bar is the first First Lady I can consciously remember…and Saddam, and ‘this aggression will not stand’, and all the stuff we used to love in the good ol’ 1990s. Where oh where does the time go? Now it’s 2018, and we have 50 genders, and straight white males have be replaced by pansexual gender fluid LatinXs…which if you don’t believe me, is totally a real thing according to some people.

Anyway, everyone’s losing their fuckin mind, so grab your balls, or pussy, or whatever the surgeon created when he flipped your shit inside out and checkout this morning’s Sacktap Live!

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Podcast: The Savage Sacktap

Don’t Get Kidnapped By A Fake Uber Driver

Apparently there are people out there getting kidnapped by fake Uber drivers. The situation has become so dire in fact, that The Today Show dedicated an entire segment to not getting kidnapped by a fake Uber driver. But I gotta ask, who are these idiots getting into cars with not-Uber drivers? It doesn’t make sense, you know what the car looks like you know what the driver looks like, you know the god damn license plate number. How are you still getting in the wrong car?

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And of course the brouhaha surrounding Donald Trump and Stormy Daniels has continued in the courts, and in the lamestream media. Do I care? No! Am I going to talk about it? Yes! Check it all out in that there video up top…

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Podcast: The Savage Sacktap

Sacktap Live – Get Off Ya Fuckin High Horse

Michael Rapoport has his panties in a bunch over something Bill Maher said, I guess that means he’s done feuding with Barstool Sports. Maybe he should just get the fuck off that high ass horse he’s been riding around on.

But he ain’t the only one. The entire country was in an uproar over Apu. Wait a minute haven’t you heard me mention that before? Yeah ya did! And I’m mentioning it again, because the Simpsons EP has decided to troll the critics like other, by doing a little something I like to call ‘playing the Trump card.’ Hey, you know what they say, if ya can’t beat em, checkout the latest episode of Sacktap Live.

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Podcast: The Savage Sacktap

Sacktap Live – The Holocaust Was Very Bad

Apparently a shocking number of Americans don’t know anything about the Holocaust.

A recent survey making the rounds found that 22 percent of young Americans have no clue what the holocaust was.

Which is scary, especially when one considers that latest push among high school, college, and recent graduates to chip away at free speech and second amendment rights.

Any student of history can explain in rather simple terms that the Bill of Rights exists to protect individuals from government overreach. It is a bill of rights, not a bill of government granted privileges. The legitimacy of the government lies in the consent of the governed…at least that’s the way Thomas Jefferson and Co wanted it to be way back when they figured this whole thing out — something about a government by the people, for the people. So it’s disconcerting to see young people asking ‘why don’t we erode some of those rights’ while admitting that they lack a keen understanding of the consequences of forfeiting their rights.

I could write more about all this, but tell ya what, why don’t ya checkout the tasty video up top instead.

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Twitter: @MikeMontone

Zuckerberg Gets Grilled On Capitol Hill Day 2

The stupidity continues, yesterday was day two of the congressional clusterfuck surrounding social media, and if it wasn’t abundantly clear already, none of our lawmakers know a thing about the internet. The biggest point that they seem to be missing is that signing up for Facebook is completely optional. By the way they were talking about it you’d think people were lined up at gunpoint, and marched to massive data processing centers and forced to turn over all of their information to a bunch of guys in suits with slicked back hair, who smoked big cigars lit with $100 bills, while laughing in everyone’s face. The reality of the situation is a lot less hilarious…maybe; a bunch of idiots willingly handed over their information so they could take stupid quizzes like ‘Which Friends Cast Member Are You?’ or ‘Which Venereal Disease Best Represents Your Personality?”

But if you thought our lawmakers were the biggest doufuses on the planet, think again. There are some in England calling for…get this shit…knife control! Apparently in tightly gun controlled London, stabbings have been on the rise. Oh go figure, the gun nuts were right. Take away one instrument and the violent will pick up another. Won’t be long before school-knifings become and epidemic over there. Home economics classes will be cancelled and school cafeterias will be restricted to all-soup menus. When will parliament do something?!? The op-eds will cry.

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Zuckerberg Gets Grilled On Capitol Hill Day 1

Mark Zuckerberg appeared in front of “We the Congress” on Tuesday and it was fuckin hilarious. Our intrepid lawmakers got right to work grilling errr grandstanding with inane questions and a demonstrable inability to understand the very basics of how Facebook functions.

One such Senator — I’m too lazy to look up who — proclaimed that if Zuckerberg doesn’t do something to prevent nefarious Russian bots from skimming data off the accounts of the dullards playing Candy Crush during your commute, or the jackasses answering ‘Which Sex And The City Cum Dumpster Am I” quizzes, then “We the Congress” must. I guess maybe then the hipster, liberal, elite will get their net neutrality after all…Everything’ll seem totally peachy, but just wait til there’s a Republican in the White House who might be tempted to use the policy in a questionable manner. Then they’ll rue the day they stomped their feet for it and demand a return to a truly free and open internet. Ahhhh, but reading sucks; watch the video above for more thoughts on this, and round the clock surveillance by the Elf On The Shelf.

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The Savage Sacktap – He Is Risen (The Hiatus Is Over)

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Sacktap’s back, back gain…tell yo friends. After a brief six week hiatus the Savage Sacktap is back.

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I’ll explain where I went and what I was doing, and use it as a shameless opportunity to plug a new social media project I’m working on.

Conor McGregor’s Barclays Center brouhaha is on the docket, so is fat shaming, homework anxiety, rude motherfuckers, bathroom behavior and more.

Download, share, tell yo friends, and follow me on social media.

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Twitter: @MikeMontone

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