Zuckerberg Gets Grilled On Capitol Hill Day 2

The stupidity continues, yesterday was day two of the congressional clusterfuck surrounding social media, and if it wasn’t abundantly clear already, none of our lawmakers know a thing about the internet. The biggest point that they seem to be missing is that signing up for Facebook is completely optional. By the way they were talking about it you’d think people were lined up at gunpoint, and marched to massive data processing centers and forced to turn over all of their information to a bunch of guys in suits with slicked back hair, who smoked big cigars lit with $100 bills, while laughing in everyone’s face. The reality of the situation is a lot less hilarious…maybe; a bunch of idiots willingly handed over their information so they could take stupid quizzes like ‘Which Friends Cast Member Are You?’ or ‘Which Venereal Disease Best Represents Your Personality?”

But if you thought our lawmakers were the biggest doufuses on the planet, think again. There are some in England calling for…get this shit…knife control! Apparently in tightly gun controlled London, stabbings have been on the rise. Oh go figure, the gun nuts were right. Take away one instrument and the violent will pick up another. Won’t be long before school-knifings become and epidemic over there. Home economics classes will be cancelled and school cafeterias will be restricted to all-soup menus. When will parliament do something?!? The op-eds will cry.

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Zuckerberg Gets Grilled On Capitol Hill Day 1

Mark Zuckerberg appeared in front of “We the Congress” on Tuesday and it was fuckin hilarious. Our intrepid lawmakers got right to work grilling errr grandstanding with inane questions and a demonstrable inability to understand the very basics of how Facebook functions.

One such Senator — I’m too lazy to look up who — proclaimed that if Zuckerberg doesn’t do something to prevent nefarious Russian bots from skimming data off the accounts of the dullards playing Candy Crush during your commute, or the jackasses answering ‘Which Sex And The City Cum Dumpster Am I” quizzes, then “We the Congress” must. I guess maybe then the hipster, liberal, elite will get their net neutrality after all…Everything’ll seem totally peachy, but just wait til there’s a Republican in the White House who might be tempted to use the policy in a questionable manner. Then they’ll rue the day they stomped their feet for it and demand a return to a truly free and open internet. Ahhhh, but reading sucks; watch the video above for more thoughts on this, and round the clock surveillance by the Elf On The Shelf.

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The Savage Sacktap – Get Outta My Face…Book

Mike continues to be outraged by other people’s outrage. This week it’s unfounded allegations of body shaming, and ugly chicks demanding a seat on the train. Click play and find out why his Jimmies are oh so rustled.

LISTEN – The Savage Sacktap – Get Outta My Face…Book

fatty

 

The Savage Sacktap – Unscripted Savagery 2

Mike is disgusted with the human race every time he logs into Facebook. This time it’s bogus claims of sexism and annoying mommy bloggers that are grinding his shit. Listen to find out why.

LISTEN – The Savage Sacktap – Unscripted Savagery 2

Guido